The sadness I feel this year is different from the past.Here in Central Jersey, I've thought I'd be hard-pressed to find someone - anyone - not touched by the deaths that occurred on September 11, 2001. If you didn't lose someone dear to you, you know someone who has.Well, that long-held belief has been blown right out of the water, or the sky as the case may be.The daughter of a friend, probably in her mid-20s, posted something online today that caught me off-guard: "It's a yucky boring day."I can think of at least 2993 people who would LOVE to have the chance to describe today in that way.Because they can't, I vow that I never will.
This morning, I asked everyone gathered for our RCIA Mystagogy session to write love letters. The assignment was random - each wrote to the person seated to their immediate right in the circle in which we sat.We discussed the feelings that came from the letters afterward, and not the content of the notes themselves. Person after person, I saw the joy at the validation they received. I witnessed the sense of overwhelming gratitude that someone else - a stranger on the journey a year ago - saw something in them of worth and value. It was a privileged moment, for sure.The inspiration for the assignment was certainly Spirit-driven beyond the prevalent theme in all the readings. The past few days, I've received validation from multiple people when it comes to my photography. I need to pay more attention to that, and to discern how I can better use the gifts I've been given in service.
Today is one of those that still has me shaking my head - in a good way.
This Lent, one of my goals was to spend more time with those important in my life. For once, I've been doing a pretty good job with that and my other Lenten intentions - the notable exception has been my online retreat ... but I digress.
Richard and I headed down to Longwood Gardens today. Normally, it requires several weeks of planning on my part to carve out time for such a trip, but this time the decision and execution happened in a span of less than 24 hours.
The snow this morning slowed us down a bit, and everything makes so much sense now, looking back at the day. I firmly believe we were meant to cross paths with some half-dozen people while we were there, sharing our stories in various and sundry ways. Odds are pretty good that we wouldn't have run into the people we did had we left here at the crack of dawn as planned.
One of the most fun moments happened as I was waiting for the lighting to change near the children's garden. That's where I happened upon a conversation with David, who was nervously waiting for his girlfriend Laura to arrive so he could propose to her.
I offered to leave the area, but ever the romantic, was hoping David would allow me the privilege to shoot the whole thing from a distance. He approved, and 19 images are on their way to him even as I type.
I've spent time in prayer recently asking for insights as to how I can use my photographic gifts in service to the Kingdom, and I had a pile of answers provided today. Most special among them was shooting the engagement - and in a wild twist, it turns out that David is pursuing a career in God's service ...
Once again, Albert Einstein had it right when he said that coincidence is God's way of staying anonymous.
Serenity, no matter how brief, is a wonderful thing.
Pax vobiscum! mbp
This is an idea that has been bouncing around in my head and heart for, maybe, five years now. It comes and goes like the tides, but stronger with each repeat.
There is a wealth of ability, skills, talents, whatever-labels-you-want among my St Matthias family. There's a cluster of folks I won't name here that I believe could be called to something greater.
The challenge is naming what that something greater could be. The Entity is what I'll call it for the time being.
I view the Entity, first, as a not-for-profit. While I see the staff as primarily fed by those I know from St Matthias, it would be separate from the parish - best for their sake and ours.
The vision and mission for the Entity? I don't have a clear idea around that except to know that it needs to make at least some space on the planet a better place to be for the people who are living there. That notion might play out as simply as meaningful employment experience that translates to a natural transition into the private or public sector for people.
The Entity also needs to be held to a higher moral and ethical standard than what the government requires, which means things like keeping it as green as practical and paying a living wage to any employees.
Other than gathering people together to start to talk about this, I have no clue what the next steps will be. That's fine - I trust the Spirit and our ability to share our own pieces of wisdom.
Morgan Freeman is how I picture God - just a little bit of Hollywood influencing my spirituality ...
I stumbled upon this vision of my Creator while journaling along with Vinita Hampton Wright's Days of Deepening Friendship. Yes, I did see Mr. Freeman in Evan Almighty, but I also vividly recall his performance in Shawshank Redemption ... I digress.
Vinita's book and her online retreat are giving me some structure around my desire to create some Godspace and intention around investing time in all those relationships that are valuable to me.
Thank you, Michelle Halm, for providing the roadmap for this year's journey!
La pace sia con voi! mbp
Lent's Eve is upon us.
The liturgical calendar isn't serving me well this year. For me, the period of introspection, self-sacrifice, almsgiving, and good works kicked in much earlier - before we were even into the ever-so-brief Ordinary Time. I'm sure I'm not unique in this, being a Boomer. This year has already brought to our family hospitalizations, serious illnesses, and a few funerals ... part of life, for sure. The letting go is tough, nonetheless.
My Ash Wednesday rituals will be a bit different this year for more than a couple of reasons. One that I look forward to eagerly is the online retreat I mentioned in an earlier post (and there are links down there to get you to the right place). A second is a recommitment to my ten-year plan ... been off-track with that one since last fall, and it's desperately needed to help on my journey back to balance.
Finally, as the day closes, some of us will be gathering at the Consolatas for a Mass remembering our Jossie. We'll follow the solemnity with a simple meal afterwards, honoring her memory.
Peace be with you! mbp
I've kept journals on and off since my first Girl Scout diary in the mid-1960s. It's probably why I find blogging so natural - I've had a propensity to record my thoughts and feelings for all but the first few years of my life. That first GS Diary - with its vinyl cover and cute little lock which my sister Karen picked with regularity - is still something I reach to from time to time, kind of like my own personal reference material.
I digress.
There's journaling, and then there's journaling. Most of the time I let the words just pour forth, following a trail illuminated by something heralding me from some unknown location. There's also directed journaling, the type that's encouraged on occasions like retreats.
It's the latter I'm called to now, by connection to a book I'm reading. Vinita Hampton Wright, in her Days of Deepening Friendship, encourages self-reflection and journaling at the end of each chapter. Clearly, it's the type of book to be nibbled in small bites, not devoured in a couple of sittings like Joe Torre's The Yankee Years.
I'm digressing again. Lots going on here (losing my balance!), which is further confirmation that I need to be working through Vinita's book.
Back to journaling - given how many years I've been pounding on a computer keyboard (did some COBOL / DB2 programming back in the 80s and 90s), my handwriting is worse than it was when it used to keep me off the honor roll back in grammar school (OK, it didn't really keep me off honor roll, but you get the picture). These days, all my journaling is done electronically. I've been known to lug my laptop to retreats for this very reason.
Suggestion to my friends at Loyola Press and all you other publishers out there - include a CD-ROM or web link with the journaling questions electronically translated for people like me so I don't have to spend extra time typing a summary of the reflection point before I begin. I'll love you for it, and I'm sure others will, as well.
Pax vobiscum! mbp
PS - Loyola Press, publisher of Deepening Friendship, will be sponsoring a FREE online women's Lenten Retreat (for my guys - I'm not sure they'll turn you away at the retreat portal. It's worth asking if you can join us). For more info, click here.
The Yankees pitchers and catchers report by this Friday. Spring is sprung!
Silly as it sounds, I started making connections between baseball and the Catholic liturgical calendar over the weekend.
- Spring training - when baseball elite try to shake out the cobwebs and get ready for the season (can be physically painful)
Lent - when the faithful try to shake out the cobwebs and get ready for eternity (can be spiritually painful)
- Opening Day - lots of celebrating about what's to come
Easter - lots of celebrating about what's to come
- Regular season - the day to day focus on what it's like to play baseball
Ordinary Time - the day to day focus on what it's like to be a follower of Christ
- Post season - the excitement of the journey to the World Series
Advent - the excitement of the journey to Christmas
While not a literary masterpiece, I think this says it all for me.
I should track this pattern in my life to see if there is, indeed, a pattern.
It's all about my need to rapidly fill my brain with new stuff. Sometimes, there's a theme. Most times, though, it's just about something that crosses my path that hints at fertilizing something long dormant.
This is one of those times.
The best I can describe it is to encounter a cornucopia overladen with things you've never seen before, but have a crazed need to explore. You keep digging and pouring and sorting, never knowing what's sequestered in the very core.
Each new book transforms. Music falls upon virgin ears, creating yet another life-long love affair.
My gratitude to those who are part of my inspiration food chain is boundless ... authors, musicians, printers, manufacturers, transporters, brick-and-mortar and e-commerce providers, libraries: be assured that your efforts have merit and impact.
With all the competing demands on my focus, I've set aside my U2 additions for the time being. I'm drawn, instead, to lyric-less melodies. Current choices? All Yo-Yo Ma.
Instrumentally, my bias has been brass for a long, loooooooooooooong time. I think I loved the sound even before my drum corps days. From high-end sopranos and trumpets, through french horns and baritones, the vibrancy cranks my metabolism or calms my heart like no other musical experience.
Why strings right now? There's something about Yo-Yo that reaches my soul. I feel my insides gently relax, my shoulders lose their tension, and the buzzing in my head escapes between the vibrations of his cello.
Thank you, Mr. Ma!
A good part of the past week has been filled with sorting through thousands of digital images I've captured at different parish events over the past several years. I was on a specific hunt - Jossie, and another friend who's seriously ill with a recurrence of pancreatic cancer.
I hadn't realized until I started the project just how many events I covered (not to mention another 3 just yesterday), nor how many images I have stored (about 8000 just for St Matthias). While there were some pleasant memories resurrected, a great amount of the time was spent wiping tears away so I could better assess the sharpness of any given picture.
Having a "good eye" for composition and capturing just the right moment is a gift. While I might joke with others that the right equipment really does all the work for you, I'm also the first to admit that God has blessed me with the ability to use all that Pentax stuff in a very effective way.
Photographic skills and talent, though, bring with them an almost overwhelming responsibility. I never know what memories I'll be able to help others cherish just because I happened to be present for a specific moment.
I was able to share some photos with the current RCIA crew this weekend, as well as provide some special extra shots for her family, godchildren, and closest friends. I also passed along some 400+ shots to my friend who is building a memory book for his children ...
Privileges like this - heartbreakingly priceless.
PS - Happy New Year Nancy, Stacy, and your families!
Music, in many forms, has played an important role in my life. From my very early days collecting 45s and waiting impatiently for the week's Top 10 on my transistor radio to the present, I'm energized when surrounded by the sounds of voices, other instruments, and syncopated (or not) rhythms.
My most active musical time was certainly during my Douglass College days. I'll save the details for another post, but use the reference as a preamble to where I'm at today.
I've let happen what a younger me would certainly be embarrassed over ... I've really not kept current with ever-emerging sources of music.
One group, in particular, keeps coming in and out of my environment and my experiences, and I've taken steps to explore them further: U2. Yes, I know they've been around long enough for eligibility for entrance into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Truth is, they didn't reach the US shores until well after I completed my undergrad degree, a clear line of demarcation in my ongoing music formation
From John Dear's A Persistent Peace (which I have finished reading, btw) to President Obama's pre-inaugural concert, Bono and buddies have been impatiently tapping on my shoulder to lend them an ear. I have, right now, Achtung Baby and their U218 Singles sitting right next to me, and am waiting for their How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb to arrive by mail.
I'll keep you posted.
Here's a quick quote from President Obama's inaugural speech, just a few hours ago:And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
First, as someone born in the year that Rosa Parks decided she was too tired to follow a silly rule about what seat she chose on a public bus, I celebrate today!Now, back to Obama's words ... so simply and so eloquently, a cause for peace is made. Be for peace, and our friendship is guaranteed. It's not our military might that will restore our moral standing.Of course, our history isn't very stellar in this regard. Weaning away from a military first-response will take courage.President Obama, may you be true to your promise today.God bless the leadership of each country, especially my own. God bless Barack Obama and those he holds dear.God bless us, everyone.
Jim got the call during Mass this morning - Jossie has left us.
I met this wonderful woman less than five years ago at a Commission Leadership Meeting, but feel like I've known her much, much longer. She came to active ministry at St Matthias through her service on the Community Life Commission, an ass-backwards way to get involved as she described it. Usually, someone would come to the Commissions after some length of involvement in a supporting ministry, but not Jossie.
Our initial encounters bordered on the confrontational, but that soon passed. Soon, we were spending time together planning the Gathering of Ministers (thanks, still, to Marty and Nancy Collins for their hospitality!) as well as through RCIA.
It was at the RCIA Retreat last Palm Sunday weekend that she shared the news with us - her cancer had returned. The chemo robbed her of her hair and her energy, but never her determination to be with us. Even with her most recent hospitalization, I was certain she'd be back with us soon at our Sunday sessions, and there to serve once again as a sponsor during the Great Easter Vigil.
My tears, today and to come, surely aren't for her. She's no longer in pain, no longer debilitated with nausea, no longer needing to find yet another hat or piece of QVC jewelry in pink to fuel her recovery. While she starts this new phase of her time with God, I'll be missing her.
Selfish on my part? Sure. As those closest to her will certainly attest, she's worth it.
Jim, rest of the Pettit family, Jossie's friends - my prayers are with you.
I've been - what word should I use? - preoccupied with peace for a good part of my life. That's not to say I've been a faithful disciple of peace, not by any means. I've come closer to where I need to be, inching slowly towards a life of nonviolence.As part of my ongoing formation, I've read bits and pieces by the Jesuit, John Dear. Finally, I'm about half-way into his autobiographical A Persistent Peace.On one hand, I'm disturbed and disappointed. Not with him, mind you, but with myself. I lack the courage, the stamina, the dedication to work towards peace even with a fraction of the passion to which he has dedicated his life.Where do I find comfort? In St Paul's words to the people of Corinth. We all have been given different gifts from the same Spirit, all for the benefit of God's Kingdom here and to come.While promoting peace may not be my primary vocation, such efforts can certainly be part of my journey.Stay tuned!
It goes in spurts - I don't hear from anyone outside my immediate circle for months, and then, out of the blue, the e-mails start flowing and the phone starts ringing. In the past 24 hours, four of my drum corps brothers have been in touch over postings in my Saints Scribblings blog or just to touch base about something.All this also comes at a time I really need it, or more specifically, need to be needed.Coincidence? Of course not.Thank you, Lord!
There's been a restlessness about me for the past month or so ... and I'm sure lots of it has to do with health issues being faced by those around me, and those with whom I've lost touch over the years.Last night, I started to channel it all and start writing again. I've been able to come to peace with what needs to happen with two of the characters, and the ideas have begun to flow once more.
The snow's a beautiful sight through our living room picture window right now, and it's been that way on and off most of the day.
It's been a perfect day to just sit and watch some DVDs and such - brain candy for the day has been helpful in getting me to chill a bit with everything that's been going on.
It's a day for which to give thanks ...
During Sunday's RCIA session (Feast of the Epiphany), we were asked to answer an intriguing question during sponsor-candidate/catechumen discussion time: what gift will you offer to God?
For once, the topic gave me pause.
What gift, indeed?
I'm the first to admit I've been blessed with many gifts, talents, skills, abilities, and that I truly believe they're all from a divine origin. How do I narrow down to just one?
With a pause and some prayer, I decided on creativity.
Yesterday, I started taking some action to get back to my creative side. My office is loaded with too much stuff, providing too many distractions. A sterile environment is not what I seek, but rather a space where I have room to fashion, to write, to construct, to run the gamut from idea to fruition.
I've been out of balance for awhile, and this is one small step back there.
2009 ...
What a time ...
At the end of the New Year's Eve Mass and prayer service, we have a tradition at St Matthias of pulling a small prayer stone randomly from a bag placed at the altar.
Proving yet again that coincidence is God's way of staying anonymous (thanks, Einstein, for the insight), the prayer stone I pulled was engraved with the word serenity.
Given the craziness of 2008, it's a perfect reminder.
The sadness I feel this year is different from the past.